casual is best (for me)

one of the things that really bothers me when i am receiving support and healing work is that practitioners can psych me out by expecting a certain kind of reaction from me. when people have expectations for me, i frequently will "choke" or overthink. which is interesting to observe in itself, but its not the deeper layers of practice and work that i really want to get to. the more we set up what the practice is "supposed to be for" the more we compare ourselves to the outcome and i hate that!

the way i get around this is by making everything casual as fuck. this is how i do my practices with myself and its how i work with my clients. the goal is never to get an outcome or particular experience, but just to observe whats going on when we try something on. its such a skill to set up an intention of exploration without making an expectation of production.

creativity is a natural human capacity. what i've noticed is that all we need is an open space in front of us and the tiniest amount of direction (intention) and we start to create and flow.

its the expectations that we put on ourselves and that others put on us that clamp down on this creative capacity. comparing ourselves to an expectation or to other people usually produces a subtle (or not so subtle) feeling of shame in the body – which is so constricting. remembering that: "since im here, since i exist, i have literally been invited by the universe to Be and Do," is one of the most powerful ways i have unlocked my creativity. and the simplest way i have figured out how to actually live that is just to "make it casual."

i do this both when i am making an actual piece of art and also when im doing ANYTHING. like organizing with others, writing this email, doing a house project, just having a conversation, and especially when working with clients – one of the things im really good at is helping people learn to do this for themselves.

and when we are learning to bring choice to the level of energy thats in our nervous system (aka "regulate" as the standard of care therapists say – but i HATE this word, i think for somewhat obvious reasons) we goooootttaaaa be exploring with as much creativity as we can muster. we gotta be bringing the most wholesome and casual intentions of support to ourselves to help express and ground those big electrical charges that move through us in this messed up world.

this is something we can always be practicing – casual creativity. what is this world if not a massive art project bursting with pleasure, joy and tragedy? like literally... what else could this experience possibly be?

casual creativity is at the center of all of the work i do with everyone all the time whether its bodywork, conflict facilitation, or somatic coaching. everyone experiences their casual creativity differently (cuz we are all in different bodies!) but we ALL have the capacity. NO ONE CAN TAKE IT FROM US. even in the most horrifying places, people bring natural creativity to how they grieve, how they fight, how they resist, how they cope and how they build new worlds.

so don't put yourself on a pedestal. don't let your life get so contrived. how can you stop expecting something from yourself? what can you allow to flow out? how can you practice, rinse and repeat. these are the questions that get stuck energy MOVING.

im putting on a little workshop and problem solving circle called "casual creativity to unblock your flow" on june 29th in the evening on zoom – its $15-30 bucks and will definitely get your ball rolling or add fuel for you to stay in momentum.

and if you're just wanting to get a hand on making your life more casual and creative – or some help moving big feelings (in a casual way) you can meet with me here: